Quote of the Day (2013-06-30)

Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, we are talking about 100,000 deaths a year."

Sir Humphrey: "Yes, but cigarette taxes pay for a third of the cost of the National Health Service. We are saving many more lives than we otherwise could because of those smokers who voluntary lay down their lives for their friends. Smokers are national benefactors."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-06-29)

Moe: Hey, I don't need no advice from a pinball machine. I'll have you know, I wrote the book on love.

Grampa: Yeah - "All Quiet on the Western Front".

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2013-06-28)

Joan Littler: "What I insist on knowing is what is the actual difference between dioxin and metadioxin."

Sir Humphrey: "Well, that's quite simple. Metadioxin is an inert compound of dioxin."

Jim Hacker: "I think I follow that, Humphrey, but could you explain it a little more clearly?"

Sir Humphrey: "In what sense, Minister?"

Joan Littler: "What does inert mean?"

Sir Humphrey: "It means it is not......ert."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-06-27)

"We're friends. If I'm going to be uncomfortable, you gotta be uncomfortable too!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-06-26)

[Ralph has been laid off]

Ed Norton: I know just how you feel because I went through the same thing two or three years ago when they laid me off from the sewer. I felt just like a fish out of water.

Source: The Honeymooners

Quote of the Day (2013-06-25)

I read the news today oh, boy

Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire

And though the holes were rather small

They had to count them all

Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall



Source: John Lennon

Quote of the Day (2013-06-24)

David St. Hubbins: I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

Ian Faith: I really think you're just making much too big a thing out of it.

Derek Smalls: Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2013-06-23)

Basil Fawlty: [exasperated with Manuel] Please! Try to understand before one of us dies.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2013-06-22)

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.

Source: Office Space

Quote of the Day (2013-06-21)

Jim Hacker: "Yes, well this is serious."

Chief Whip: "Very serious."

Sir Humphrey: "Very serious."

Jim Hacker: "What could happen if either of them became PM?"

Sir Humphrey: "Something very serious indeed."

Chief Whip: "Very serious."

Jim Hacker: "I see...."

Chief Whip: "Serious repercussions."

Sir Humphrey: "Serious repercussions."

Chief Whip: "Of the utmost seriousness."

Jim Hacker: "Yes, that is serious."

Sir Humphrey: "In fact, I would go so far as to say, that it could hardly be more serious."

Jim Hacker: "Well, I think we all agree then: this is serious."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-06-20)

Miracle Max: He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him.

Inigo Montoya: He's dead. He can't talk.

Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.

Inigo Montoya: What's that?

Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2013-06-19)

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.

David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.

Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?

David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.

Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?

David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2013-06-18)

H&H wouldn't let us use the bathroom when we were on strike. They put a cramp in our solidarity.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-06-17)

Sybil Fawlty: You know what I'll do if I find out that money is yours?

Basil Fawlty: [calling after her] You'd have to sew 'em back on first.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2013-06-16)

[after slicing one of the Black Knight's arms off]

King Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch.

King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off.

Black Knight: No it isn't.

King Arthur: What's that, then?

Black Knight: [after a pause] I've had worse.

King Arthur: You liar.

Black Knight: Come on ya pansy.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-06-15)

I once shot a man just to watch him die. Then I got distracted and missed it. My friends tried to describe it to me, but it just isn't the same.

Source: Kids in the Hall

Quote of the Day (2013-06-14)

Politicians' Logic: Something must be done, this is something, therefore it must be done.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-06-13)

Randal Graves: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?

Dante Hicks: "Empire".

Randal Graves: Blasphemy.

Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.

Source: Clerks

Quote of the Day (2013-06-12)

Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,

I sleep all night and I work all day.



CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,

He sleeps all night and he works all day.



I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,

I go to the lava-try.

On Wednesdays I go shoppin'

And have buttered scones for tea.



Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,

He goes to the lava-try.

On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'

And has buttered scones for tea.



CHORUS



I cut down trees, I skip and jump,

I like to press wild flowers.

I put on women's clothing,

And hang around in bars.



Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,

He likes to press wild flowers.

He puts on women's clothing

And hangs around.... In bars???????



CHORUS



I chop down trees, I wear high heels,

Suspendies and a bra.

I wish I'd been a girlie

Just like my dear papa.



Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels

Suspendies?? and a .... a Bra????

(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be a *girlie*? Oh, My!

And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!



CHORUS



All: He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaaaayyy..... (BONG)

Source: Monty Python's Flying Circus

Quote of the Day (2013-06-11)

But really what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is, you read the obituary column. Yeah, you find out who died, and go to the building and then you tip the doorman. What they can do to make it easier is to combine the obituaries with the real estate section. Say, then you'd have Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2013-06-10)

Filipino kid: You are American?

Tourist: No, I'm a Canadian. It's like an American, but without the gun.

Source: Kids in the Hall

Quote of the Day (2013-06-09)

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-06-08)

Father Sean: [recalling what St. Peter said to him] Sean, you wanker, repent of your sins or sod off.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2013-06-07)

GALAHAD: Now look, I can handle this lot single-handed!

DINGO: Yes! Let him handle us single-handed!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-06-06)

Rick: I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2013-06-05)

Reverend Lovejoy: This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants, designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first, let's pass the collection plate.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2013-06-04)

Victor Melling: If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2013-06-03)

Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?

Gracie Hart: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate?

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2013-06-02)

Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2013-06-01)

Prime Minister: We must do something to improve my relations with the press, which deteriorated considerably when my private secretary told them I felt I was above the law when it came to official secrets.

Bernard: Yes, you may well hang your head.

PM: What's the constitutional position, Humphrey?

Sir Humphrey: Well, in a sense, Bernard was right. The question, in a nutshell, is what is the difference between a breach of the Official Secrets Act and an unattributable, off-the-record briefing by a senior official? The former - a breach - is a criminal offence. A briefing is essential to keep the wheels turning.

Bernard: Is there a difference or is it a matter of convenience and interpretation? Is it a breach of the act if there is an unofficial, non-attributable briefing by an official who's been unofficially authorised by the Prime Minister?

Sir Humphrey: Not if it's been authorised by the PM, no.

PM: That's what I say. I should decide if it's in the national interest for something to be disclosed, not officials.

PM: Last week's leak must've come from an official.

Bernard: But what if the official was officially authorised or even unofficially authorised? What if the PM officially disapproves of a breach of the act, but unofficially approves?

Sir Humphrey: Then a leak would be unofficially official, but officially unofficial.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister